Being a tour guide might seem like the perfect lifestyle – you get paid to travel. However, as Greg Williams explains, there’s a bit more to the job than that

Recently, I took a tour group to Uluru. As we drove through the desert I asked for room preferences. “Could I have a water view?” one lady asked.

You might presume people would know Uluru is in the middle of the desert but 25 years of being a tour guide has taught me you must never presume anything. The other week, I took another group out to the Great Barrier Reef and someone asked if they could see the Opera House from there. I didn’t even blink as I explained the distances that separated them.

There are three traits you need to be a tour guide: one is a passion for punctuality, the second an endless supply of patience and the third a good sense of humour.

Punctuality is essential because when you’re on a tight schedule, you have to be at harbours, airports and restaurants on time or the whole day descends into chaos. Some people don’t pay attention to punctuality and I’ll arrive at their hotels to find them still in bed. It can take me an hour to get them ready and then they’ll want to change everything. I have to point out that Qantas doesn’t change scheduled flights.

Patience comes into play because people on a tour may be struggling to understand the culture or the language and they’ll lean on you a lot more than they’d ever dream of doing at home.

And a sense of humour is important because of people like the American couple who arrived at Sydney International Airport ready to board a cruise ship with no luggage. “Where is it?” I asked.

“On the ship,” they replied.

“But how can that be?” I said. “You haven’t got on the ship yet. Didn’t you bring it with you on the plane?”

It turned out they hadn’t. They had left it on their verandah – and when I asked why, they explained that the brochure had promised to look after them “from home to ship”. We rang their neighbour who confirmed their cases were still there.

The most common tours I do are around Sydney. I’ll visit the Opera House, do a harbour cruise and take a trip to the Blue Mountains at least twice a month. I keep up my enthusiasm by constantly researching new information about each place. You can never have enough information and I try to make it relevant. For example, I can tell people that the electricity bill for the Opera House is equal to that of a town of 20,000 people. If we’re driving through the desert I tell stories about the Aborigines, and on the way to the Blue Mountains I’ll hand around plants and pictures of the birds we’re going to see. People often say I’d make a good teacher, which is nice.

But what I enjoy most are extended tours, taking groups to the Red Centre, up to Cairns or out to Darwin and Kakadu. Partly because of the variety, but also because of the challenges. If there are health issues in the middle of the desert or someone loses their passport or tickets, it adds a bit more colour. Sometimes you don’t want those particular colours, but it’s like any job – when you’ve come across these situations before, you’re prepared.

In my career, what’s stood out most are the people I’ve encountered from countries I didn’t know much about. I’ve met South Africans, South Americans, Chinese, Russians and East Europeans. They want to learn about us, but I can also learn a lot about them. Lots of them stay in touch, which is lovely.

If anyone asks me the best place to visit in Australia, I recommend Sydney. I think it’s the best city in the world – it’s got water, bush, markets, museums, parks, restaurants and scenic areas. There’s something for everyone and I should know. I’ve taken everyone around it enough times.

This story comes courtesy of Way2go magazine. To read more real-life travel stories (or to find out how to share your own travel tale for CA$H), pick up a copy at your local newsagent or subscribe at Way2go.

Open Road e-zine, February 2009.